Wednesday Back to Blogging

I have not been on my blog in a while  I have been up and down a lot this week. Missing my sweet baby girl. Every day is a struggle. I get through each day but the hurt is there and I have said it before it is not as sharp but there is just something missing.  I have my R and E and of course my husband and they get me through each day. Everyone in my life is awesome but only a mom and I should say parents know the pain that I am going through if you have lost a child.  I went to buy stuff for Easter and I look at things in threes. and I find myself putting things back because I don't need a third basket this year. Of course Easter is my favorite holiday a new beginning, it is always my favorite time of year.   I love the flowers that come out and the warm weather.  I love finding dried up old peeps when no one eats them and they get stale.  Although R likes to put them in the freezer but it isn't quite the same. Its the nice hard stale ones.  That reminds me I did not but any so I must get some  3 peeps on weight watchers  one point.  So that being said that is what I am trying to concentrate on ME.  getting healthy I see Nicole in my dreams and I dream of the day we will be reunited but I can't leave yet.  the girls need me and so does R.  So me getting healthy and I know she would want  me too.  I have been blogging on Weight Watchers sites and joining challenges to get moving.  Its working 16 pounds down and I am feeling awesome.  can't wait for summer and shorts.  OF course as soon as it hits 60 I will be in shorts.  

So back to  my picture that I took today I got a text from a friend who said she was thinking of me and Nicole today for no reason and told me to have a blessed day.  I have been having some pretty rough days and to have someone text that  to me was pretty neat.  My friend texts me  "She's bringing sunshine today. Keep posting your sunrise and set photos they connect you."  Boy do they ever so after I got the text the sun was already rising in the East and this is what I got.   Another friend posted on FB " The circle of love will not be broken....It shines on>"   My Angel in Heaven is very busy I know she is with me always I feel her around me all the time. She must be around a lot because this afternoon another friend texts me about the same thing that Nic and I were on her mind all night.   Thank you Nicole for giving me signs and being around I know you are here. I know you are very busy but you can come by anytime in my dreams  and I know that your sisters are always open to it too..  I love you my sweet baby girl.    

Clouds

       Driving down the road today the sunrise was absolutely  beautiful.  Take time to really see the amazing  world in which we live. I can only imagine what Heaven is like. As one psychic told me. Nicole says it is the most amazing place you will ever see. It also reminds me of her pink blanket when she wrapped it around her she would say I am calling the blanket Heaven because I know this is how it will feel.  When I wrap myself in her pink blanket I feel her wrapped around me from Heaven like Angel Wings. 
         I remember when the girls were little we would spend hours floating around in the pool and looking up at the clouds.  Look mom its an elephant, oh its a duck and when we would see a plane go over head I would ask the girls to tell me where it was going and what they would see.  Many times it was heading to Florida to Disney.  The times we had floating in our pool.  I love summer,  warm days and blue sky.  It will be here soon.  I have my flip flops out and I am ready for summer and floating in our tubes and looking up at the bright blue sky.   I love to look at the clouds and try to see something as the pass by.  The signs that are given to us some days take my breath away and other days just bring tears. Each day is a gift and it reminds me that my family and I are blessed, protected and guided. Thank you Lord .   Today I  took  a picture that spoke to me of blue sky with the clouds that look like  Angel Wings.   I can feel them wrapped around me.    
       Today I took the sunrise the big ball of yellow rising in the sky, I hear the country song  by Steve Holy.  Good Morning Beautiful, I know it is a wedding song, but when he says Good Morning Beautiful How was your night? I can say good morning to my beautiful  daughter who will be always with us everyday. She is a beautiful sunrise and evening sunset and angel wings in the clouds.    May you all have a blessed day.   

There are no coincidences .........

There are no coincidences I truly believe everything happens for a reason.   I have met many people being a nurse and after  Nicole's passing I did not think I wanted to be a nurse again. A friend told me that I have a gift and so do our patients we each give to each other.  The other day I met a woman who I needed to help start an IV.  I told her my name and I left when I went back in after being assigned to her I asked her about her tattoo on her inner wrists. I was curious.  it was for  family members she had lost. I then showed her my tattoo and she said is that your name even though I had just told her it was Teri.  I told her it was for my daughter I had lost in July she said no I lost my daughter that is her middle name.  Come to find out she had lost her daughter in May 2012 two months before I lost my Nicole. We sat and luckily I was able to talk and sit with her and we helped each other so much. There was a reason we were in each others lives that day. She had her 2nd baby and they names her Nichole. 
      Yesterday I had to go meet a family and check in on a baby. I said oh what a beautiful baby she was so cute, I said what is her name.  Her Name in Emily and then  talking further her brothers name was Luke.  I did not want to tell her that was our first dogs name who we loved.  So I told her my name and she said oh that is my moms name are you a Theresa I said a Theresa Marie she said that is her name.  It was cool. All the signs we are given each day. I write them down now because it helps me get through the days.  After being back and working with my patients. They are helping me each day to know why I use the gift I have and to be be a nurse and to help others. That is why I went into this 26 years ago. 

      People are put in our lives for a reason.  I have  Faith, My loving Family and great Friends . This journey is so hard we all have our own journey.  Another quote I read today was:   Don't expect everyone to understand your journey. Especially, if they've never hd to walk your path.  I am so thankful for everyone that is helping me with my journey. I am glad for those in my life and the people I meet.  Learn to listen to each other you never know what you may get out of something in someone else's journey and path on this earth plane.  Thank you to everyone who has come into my life for  a reason.   Every night when the girls were little I whispered in there ears "Thank you for picking me to be your mommy."  I love my girls with all my heart.

Monday March 4th The Positives.THis morning

     Today is Monday and you know I all love a Monday.  I doesn't really matter what day it is because everyday is the same.  You wake up and it is all too real.  

     This morning a friend posted on Facebook. Dear Angels, Please  wrap your arms around those who are hurting today, and let them feel how much you love and care for them...... After I read this this morning I could feel the Nicole's wrap even stronger around me and more angels helping.  I woke up so POSITIVE this morning.  Every day is a gift from God.  I am protected guided and blessed. Thank you God.  

     Today driving R and her friend to school her friend said we lost the championship.  I said I was sorry for, being positive I said Congratulations  look how far you came you are number 2, and you girls did an awesome job getting there. Someone has to lose.  Look at the positive in it all I said. In my mirror all I could see is a big smile and she proceed to show use a picture of her trophy. 

 

As we were driving to school   little snowflakes fell from the sky this am and my friend from work said  snowflakes are butterflies in the winter.   Today it felt a little like spring outside. Its staying lighter out in the  evening and the morning are crisp. I am glad for the signs we receive each day from our Angels. Soon the butterflies will return. As for today I am going to stay as positive as I can and look for more signs and enjoy the angels wings wrapped around me.  I hope everyone has a blessed day.